The Kaimuki House
Hawaii has it's fair share of ghost stories and superstitions, but none quite as terrifying (or relevant to real estate) as "The Kaimuki House". You've probably heard of the fabled haunted house, it's one of the most famous on the island. In order to truly understand how scary it is, you need some backstory.
What makes it stand out from your run of the mill ghost story is it's documented history of evil. Here is who the "experts", and I use that term as loosely as the waistband on an anorexic teenager, think is terrorizing the property:
The creature said to reside in the Kaimuki house is called a Kasha, a man-eating ghost from Japanese folklore. Other interpretations of this monster include a ghoul who lives around crematoriums and feeds on the dead, and a cat-like demon from the sky who steals away bodies. However, all three versions have one thing in common: its insatiable hunger for blood and corpses. (Realhaunts.com)
No, KASHA...actually nevermind. This is just as scary
Great. Our choices are a man-eating ghost, a ghoul who feeds on the dead, or a flying cat demon that steals and presumably eats bodies. Regardless of which Kasha is in Kaimuki house we can be sure of two things:
1. It has an insatiable hunger for blood AND corpses
2. I want absolutely nothing to do with it.
Since no nightmare inducing demon is complete without an even more nightmare inducing backstory, here's why Kasha took up residence in Kaimuki.
One possible explanation for these spooky happenings may be the two murders allegedly committed in the house. The first one is a twist on the story mentioned before, about the children being brutally killed. However, the case states that it was actually a father who murdered his two kids, along with his wife. He buried his son and wife in the backyard, but the daughter's body was never found.
The second event tells of a lesbian couple, where one of the women became involved with a man. After discovering his girlfriend's secret, the man proceeded to kill her, the other woman, and himself all within the walls of the Kaimuki house. (Realhaunts.com)
There's no evidence or record of either story taking place, but since Kasha can't ever get enough human blood and corpses, I'll assume the victims were eaten.
Let's get to why this is legitimately scary. There have been actual, documented cases of violent ghost assault. Not rumors, it was in the newspaper.
"My Husband, who left me, is to blame" - An irrelevant but hilarious quote
The son alerted his mom after detecting an "odor of ghosts" in the house. Kasha, embarrassed and enraged at being shamed for a harmless demon fart, went Wayne Brady on the family. The cops arrived to try and stop the demon on human violence and were also choked/thrown around by Kasha for fun.
After the mother's "throw salt at the corpse eating demon" strategy proved less than effective, everybody just....walked outside where everything returned to normal. It took two police and 90 minutes of problem solving before everyone decided "running away" was the best course of action. Teenagers in horror movies have better decision making skills than these people.
This also means the family was going to sleep in the house just as soon as Kasha stopped trying to kill them. I don't know about you, but if a demon started choking me to death not only would I never walk inside again, but the house and everything in it would soon be a pile of smoldering ashes.
So at least you're safe if you avoid the house, right?
This story predates Ghostbusters. They had nobody to call.
You couldn't have been more wrong. More of the same (attempted strangulation, pants pooping-terror) but this time, Kasha leaves the house to chase down the current inhabitants, blatantly ignoring haunted house rules established by decades of horror movies. Turns out, leaving the house only angers Kasha more, which is.... actually kind of understandable. I would be equally annoyed if my "food" was able to open the refrigerator and run around where/whenever it wanted.
A few more fun facts: Kasha can control car batteries, effortlessly rip car doors off, and like NWA, does not care for law enforcement officials. Thankfully, even though it can travel through astral planes and dimensions, it seems woefully inept at actually eating people. But man oh man does it love invisibly choking everybody.
Prime Suspect in both cases
Although these newspaper reports haven't been verified by the actual sources, its still unsettling. Imagine if you were to pick up a newspaper today and in the crime section it was reported the Boogeyman had violently assaulted two families or that somebody was actually killed by Jason Voorhees. The whole "It's just make believe, it can't happen to me" mentality goes right out the window.
This Halloween, make sure to stay far, far away from the Kaimuki House. If you feel an invisible pair of hands start tightening around your neck, offer all of your candy to Kasha as a sacrifice. It may not work, but its the best chance you have.
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